"From now on you are excluded from dinner then. You are excluded from surf and turf night. You are excluded from ravioli night. You are excluded from chicken cutlet night." - Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino
Trash television got a whole lot trashier this fall when a bunch of totally juiced guidos and tanned guidettes hit Seaside Heights to see what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real. Though a not so unfamiliar formula, MTV revealed the perfect equation in the glorious fist-pumping goodness that is the "Jersey Shore."
Fist pumps galore at The P, Avalon, NJ, Summer 2009
Hookups, open shirt grinding, and bar-side face punches run rampid as Rhode Island guido DJ Pauly D, bragging an entire suitcase of hair gel, tries to get down with ham and water loving praying mantis JWoww. Pickle-hungry Poughkeepsie princess Snooki is as serious about bringing home guidos as she is about preserving her prized pouff. Vinny's always ready to come out to play, and the love triangle between Sammi Sweetheart, Ronnie, and The Sitch pushes housemates to threaten crimes worse than death ("Yo I will cut your hair while you are sleeping ok?"). And don't even get me started on Angelina leaving. What was she thinking? That's like leaving The Beatles.
"The Situation" is a protein powdered, muscle milk-inspired vanilla cupcake with over-embellished graffiti swirled vanilla buttercream on top. Classier than a thong bikini or a night at Headliners, it's on a whole 'nother level. Oh shoot, we got a situation here.
Lifting and Dancing, Avalon, NJ, Summer 2008
Even if you've never experienced the magic along the New Jersey state shoreline, one can surely appreciate the playground that sets the scene for classy girls interacting with rhino juicehead guys. After all, Italian sausage eating and possibly bulletproof hair aside, it's no half-assed firecracker of a storyline. Just a couple of kids, like you and me, with something inside of them, feeling the beat, and searching for love, friendship and sunsets-- erm--sunrises in the heat of a sizzling summer.