I once heard somewhere that there are people who march through life to the end in a comfortable bliss, taking it and all of its challenges as they come. Of this group of beings I know one thing - I do not belong.
Last week, while playing court tennis, the pro pulled me aside and said, "Hey, will you just wait for the ball? You keep rushing at it, and each time you attack, you miss it completely." And that's exactly it. Full of passion and aching to taste it all, I also charge life like a wild bat out of hell.
"The Cocopassione" is a coconut cupcake with coconut frosting and shredded coconut on top. Rough around the edges, but exotic and delicate, it is crowned by a tart passionfruit buttercream.
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My favorite poet (and another Cape Codder)Stanley Kunitz wrote about life like this often:
"Outdoors all afternoon
under a gunmetal sky
staking my garden down,
I kneeled to the crickets
trilling underfoot as if about to
burst from their crusty shells;
and like a child again
marveled to hear so clear
and brave a music pour
from such a small machine.
What makes the engine go?
Desire, desire, desire.
The longing for the dance
stirs in the buried life."
By living through the bad feelings, I think you can begin to see the good. And also learn to love intensely and find ridiculous beauty in the most remarkable and unexpected places.
I guess it's just that desire, desire, desire that keeps me going on, rather than comfortably numb. It's the passion to completely experience life, its ups, its downs, and to its fullest, and to not miss a thing.
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